Great Shoes Will Do That To You

Ever have one of those days where you leave the house and you catch a glimpse of yourself and then....WOW, I look really good!! I'm having "That Day" and it feels great. I used to have alot more days like this but as I've gotten older they are few and far between. I didn't do anything special today, I actually didn't even brush my hair. I'm told I have great hair but I don't have a clue what to do with it, but apparently if I do nothing I'm okay.....I'm your typical "Undercover Girl". I want to be pretty everyday but it's really just not in the cards. Why is it that when I was crackwhore-skinny and hadn't yet incubated a human, I was a pro at makeup and hair but now I look at my tools of the girl trade and act like I'm trying to figure out how to diffuse a bomb? But I digress, get used to that.....back to my "I look great today" moment..... So I'm driving down the road pretending I am the only vehicle in a 20 miles radius and I own the road (as usual), radio blaring (as usual), singing at the top of my lungs & dancing around (again, as usual) and suddenly I realize that every time I pull up to a stoplight, people are noticing me. Guys, girls, kids...all of them seem to be watching me! I have to wonder at this point, is it because I look good today? Is it that I appear to be having a Tourette's induced seizure? Do these people watch me everyday? I think I may have mentioned that I like to pretend I'm the only person on the planet and I tend to block out the verifiable fact that there ARE other cars on the road. Am I missing out on something by not playing the people-watching game? Wait, yes, yes I am cuz check out the guy to the left of me in the red truck! Eye contact, double take - SCORE! Ok, light changed, he's gone now. I will have to look around more often because now I am watching some black lady in front of me furiously poke herself in the head repeatedly with what appears to be the corner of a legal pad. Very entertaining, her head must really itch under her intricate sch lacked do cuz she is really doing a number on herself. At this rate, she will be concussed by the time she reaches her destination. Here comes the must-get-over-2-lanes-NOW, part of my drive. I've had my blinker on for miles now to prepare myself and others for the battle that lay ahead. I'm only on actual interstate for about a mile but I am endangering hundreds of people twice a day Mon-Fri during that distance. The reason for this is that I have extreme merge anxiety and the process consists of me squeezing my eyes shut, squealing loudly (it really does help) and jerking the steering wheel in the general direction I want my car to go. Then I open my eyes to see where I have landed and so far have been able to release hugh sighs of relief. Car horns are not as loud as my radio, and remember, others don't really exist in my mind anyway. Basically what I want you to know is that I look and feel really good today. I bought a great pair of peachy-coral strappy shoes with a cute little bow on them years ago but I've never worn them because they don't go with ANYTHING. Since the hair and make-up Gods were smiling on me today I wanted to see how far I could push my luck....low and behold....IT WORKED. I found this great skirt in the How Long Can You Hold Your Breathe part of my closet and the stitching on it was the same color as the shoes AND as luck would have it, I shaved my legs last night....now we're cooking with gas! I'm going to finish up the work day and buy some lottery tickets. In closing, when you are out and about today and a beautiful girl walks past you and suddenly.... the wind blows and the Angels sing............THAT'S ME!!!! Blame it on the shoes.